Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Years!! Guess what's coming back soon!

No I have not forgotten about you all!!
Hope everyone has been enjoying the Holidays!!

Feeling so much better and I wanted to let you know that I'll be updating Stay very very soon.

Thanks everyone for being so patient, besides losing my dad and getting sick, my uncle passed away very recently.

Have learned that life is truly short. Love what is around you, now because you just never know.

Everyone stay safe, be healthy. Thanks so much for reading.

Love you xoxoxo

Happy New Year's


Monday, September 28, 2009

Heath update 9/27/09

Had minor surgery last week so i'm medically i'm on leave, however...I wanted to let all of you know...that Stay will be back very very soon.
Have been writing the last part of the story.

When I start posting it, (Don't worry...Still have some chapters for all of you) The story will be done. That way, it'll be updated regularly for all of you.

Thanks for reading and i miss everyone's comments.

Shell xoxoxox

Friday, August 14, 2009

an update

Hi all!!!

I wanted to let all of my readers know that I thank you for all the e-mails, notes and phone calls regarding my dad.

Also, during this time, i found out that I also have been quite sick w/chronic anemia...

So bad that I was admitted to the hospital...

Back home now and i'm taking one day at a time.

I'll be back as soon as I can...

Feeling better....

All of you take care....enjoy the rest of the summer...thanks for reading.
And I'll be back soon.

Love Shell. xoxo

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Be back as soon as I can

Sorry all...

I know i've been MIA with this story..

RL has been intruding big time this week...
I have chapters nearly ready, but I need to edit them.

I'd never forget about the story or all of you.

Back soon....

Love Shell

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Ch. 45

Music Playlist at

In his family room Jon was winding down with a bottle of wine taking in the silence. It had been hours since he had seen anyone and figured that everyone had gone to bed.

He glanced at his watch. It was 12:30 a.m. For some reason, he was wide awake, praying that if he had watched a late movie, sleep would eventually come.

As flipped through the various late night talk shows and weatherman pretending to be this years 'it' men, one of his favorite movies came onto the screen, 'The Godfather.'
Jon observed the first moments of the film intently as the Corelone family gathered for a wedding. As the innocent moment within the close yet very successful family begins to take shape, we begin to see not only a caring family, but glimpses of what is “The Family.“
He studied the movie with not only admiration of author Mario Puzo, but also for the actors Francis Ford Coppolla brought to the screen thanks to Puzo's gift for storytelling and creating great characters.

He didn’t hear Trina come in or even sit down next to him for several minutes.
She watched him as he continued to look at the film. The similarities were mild but certainly there. To her, some of this could be Jon’s own story in a way.
When Marlon Brando appeared on screen directing Robert Duvall’s character on the art of persuasion, Trina leaned against Jon’s soft chest. She didn’t say a word. All she did was wrap the two of them up with a brown throw that was draped over her side of the couch.
Watching her fit snugly against him, he played with her long, brown waves, toying with each curl.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispered.

Trina replied. “No. I couldn’t. Thought I’d escape for a little bit.”

“Escapism is good. I try to do that now much as possible.”

She continued to hold onto him, taking in his intoxicating voice.

“May I come with you?”

He chuckled. “Absolutely.”

As she lay there taking in every part of him. She thought.
‘Just us. No Kendall…Richie…Toby…This is just…Perfect…Peaceful…Comfortable.’

His body began to ache as they continued to hold each other closer.
His head gently rested on the top of hers as he attempted to concentrate on the movie. That action proved fruitless.

He loved how she felt against him, the fragrance of her hair, the way she made him feel like it was the two of them and no one else.

His fingers involuntarily touched the sides of his arms, his steel blue eyes for several moments never wavered from the television screen.

Trina looked up at him tenderly. Her blue eyes showed a warmth and openness towards him that when he did finally look at her he found himself drawing her into a kiss.

Their lips met each other with such urgency that their bodies were ready to be finally united.

His lips parted impatiently for her as he lay her down on the couch.

Her hands without delay began to slide themselves underneath his T-shirt and down the small of his back. Her fingers loved the smooth feel of his skin underneath them.

Amazed by her boldness, Jon gasped for air. In an attempt to not get lost in his passion, he smiled affectionately at her.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?”

Her fingers moved from the small of his back to tracing the fine features of his face. Mischievously, she replied. “You? You’re the rock star?”

He laughed as began to play with her hair once more.
“True. But just so you know, I tend to be a one-woman guy.”

Trina sighed. “Well, lucky me.”

Jon lowered himself over her affectionately. He bent down and kissed her again. She wrapped her arm around his waist, enjoying how they rested themselves on the small of his back.

He felt his body strain itself underneath her. He braced himself as his hands slid on other each side of her.

They continued to kiss each other passionately against the blue hue of the large screen television set.

Trina, feeling the strain of his body against hers, slowly began to unbutton top of his jeans. He groaned with approval.

“I take it you want that slumber party?” He teased as he kissed the sides of her neck. She moaned.

“Yes, please.”

Jon hands began to move from the couch to underneath her t-shirt, touching her soft-flat tummy.
She left her thighs locked into his comfortably. The feel of his shaft gradually hardening against her cotton sweatpants was becoming unbearable. She arched herself towards him closer.
By now, his hands had freed her breasts from its prison of a bra. Playfully, he lifted her shirt up and began teasing her breasts as they grew harder with every touch.
The friction of him against her was driving her to insanity, She needed him so much. As her body began to rock itself to his, the two of them were so wrapped in their need to be with each other that they didn‘t hear Toby come in, tapping Jon on the shoulder.

“Jon, I need help.” Toby cried.

Jon was still kissing Trina, oblivious to the little boy.

Out of the corner of one of her eyes, Trina noticed Toby sitting on Jon’s side on the edge of the couch. He was sobbing and tapping Jon.

She was mortified.

“Jon!” Trina snapped as quickly pointed at Toby who was crying uncontrollably. Thankfully, hidden to an extent, she pulled down her shirt with one stroke.

Jon looked at her as if he was in daze. “Huh?”

She mouthed. “Toby.” his eyes grew wide at her as he gathered his thoughts.

“Toby?” he mumbled.

Trina nodded.

Jon smoothed back his hair and slowly turned towards the boy. Toby was continuing to cry hysterically.

Jon was concerned. He sat next to him and draped his arm around him.

“Buddy, what’s wrong?”

Trina, also worried about Toby quickly jumped off the couch, kneeling in front of him. She began wiping the tears that ran endlessly down his cheeks.
“Oh sweetie. What’s wrong?” she asked.

“I had a dream that they were going to take me away again.” Toby cried.

“Who Buddy?” Jon asked.

“CPS. They hate me. They hate you. They hate me living here.”

Trina hugged him as did Jon.

“No! I won’t let that happen. Juanita is going to be right here taking care of you.”

“That’s right Toby. Jon and Juanita will fight them. You’re not going back to a home. We all love and want you here so much.” Trina reassured.

“You do huh?” Toby asked.

“Yes we do. This wouldn’t be home now with you. I love you Toby.” Jon told him.

Toby held onto Jon as hard as he could. “Love you Jon.”

Tears ran down Jon’s face. He kissed Toby on the top of the head. Toby began to cry again, this time tears of joy. His little body shook from exhaustion.

Jon and Trina pulled from him, they both still held onto him gently until Toby’s body calmed down. Jon wiped Toby’s tears away one last time.

“Take a deep breath for me Toby.”

Toby did was he asked. Trina smoothed his hair back. After several seconds, Toby stopped shaking. He began to smile at Jon. Jon smiled back warmly.

“Okay now buddy?

Toby nodded.

“Good. It’s really late. Let’s get your back to bed okay?”

Toby nodded. Trina kissed him on the cheek.

Jon got up from the couch with Toby. He looked at Trina.
“I’m going to settle him back in. We’ll make a pit stop and grab some warm milk in the kitchen.”
Trina understood completely. She nodded her head. “Okay.”

He whispered in her ear. “Slumber party’s over?”

“For now. But there better be other invites.” She winked.
He chuckled as he kissed on the cheek. “Goodnight babe.” He told her as he walked Toby up the stairs. She blew a kiss to Toby who was waving as he and Jon left the living room.

“Night.” She told them both.

She plopped herself back down on the couch and watched the rest of The Godfather.

The Corelone’s lives at this moment were unraveling, much like her own self-control.

What are you going to do come tour time? God…I can’t restrain myself. To be honest, I don’t think I want to…Bad dreams suck!’ she thought.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ch. 44

Music Playlist at

He told Jon to stop looking at me with "love eyes" Trina told Kendall as the two ladies sat in Kendall's room.

Kendall, applying the last coat of red polish on her fingers. Carefully, placed the top on the bottle and gently screwed it shut.

"Love eyes? Aw, that's so cute." she said as she placed her hands palms down on the dresser. Did that scare Jon much" Kendall snickered.

Trina sat on the end of Kendall's bed. "I think it did a little. I don't think he was aware of how he looked until Toby pointed it out."

Kendall turned her torso towards her friend. She asked her friend. "Do you give Jon love eyes?"

Trina shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe. He's not exactly hard on the eyes."

"He isn't, is he? I gotta admit, he's cuter in person." Kendall told her.

Trina raised an eyebrow. Kendall laughed. 'Well he is." Her best friend admitted with a devilish wink.

"So is Richie. And he's so sweet. He really helped me before you came up." Trina said.

"He is very sweet...kind...talented....and gorgeous. Have you heard his demo yet?"

Trina nodded. "No."

Kendall took a deep breath at the thought of the words to one of the songs. Blowing on her nails in hopes that were dry enough, she got up and walked over to her bag.

She pulled out tape and placed it in the stereo's tape deck.

Trina listened attentively to the first bars of the "Father Time."

The words were hypnotic, beautiful.

Richie's voice was amazing. It was strong, soulful, brilliant. Trina was impressed. She looked at her friend and noticed the tears filling her eyes.

Kendall closed her eyes as the song continued. She mouthed the words along with Richie's.

Trina loved it. It was definitely a departure from Bon Jovi.

From the piano playing to lyrics that seemed to beg Richie's muse for more time was sensational.

"This is fantastic." Trina said.

"Isn't it?" Kendall said.

"The lyrics speak to you. I mean really to you. Don't get wrong. The lyrics that he and Jon write do too but-"

"These are more intense." Kendall interjected.

"Yes." Trina said.

"The song is great." Kendall stopped the tape. She put the tape back in her bag.

"Richie seemed more relaxed today." Trina added.

Kendall looked at her nails. Seemingly pleased that there were dry, she looked over them once more in approval. "Yes, he did. Think I overreacted the other day. Maybe like you said he did have a lot on his mind."

Trina nodded in agreement. "I told you so. Worried over nothing."

Kendall put her hand underneath her chin, thinking over the last few days with her friend and realizing that she was probably right. "I guess so. Hey, did you I tell you that he and I have a date tomorrow?"

Trina eyes raised again. "Yeah? Very nice."

"Yeah. It's a lunch date. Actually it's a picnic on the beach. We were going to a few days ago, but some things came up."

"Oh." Trina said looking smug.

"Oh? That's it. So, when's Jon taking you out?" Kendall asked.

Trina shrugged. 'I don't know. We're not exactly dating really."

"Not dating? A stolen kiss on the beach, another in the kitchen, the apparent make out session that happened before I got here? Okay." Kendall told her.

Trina shrugged. "Well, we're not technically. He's got a lot on his mind too. Between getting Toby settled and his voice back in top form. Dating me is an after thought."

Jon walked in the room unannounced.

"Why is that an after thought? You would never be an afterthought to me." He told Trina sitting next to her on the bed.

"You just have a lot on your mind that's all. With the tour and your voice...Now Toby." Trina told him.

"And you've been a big part in all of that." Jon reassured her.

"Yes. You're right Jon." Kendall said.

"Jon, no. You don't have to. Honest." Trina said.

"Kendall, what does she like to do besides jog?" Jon asked.

Trina's face felt warm as the two of them continued to talk about what she liked to do in her of her.

"Let's see. She likes movies." Kendall replied.

Jon smiled as he looked at Kendall eagerly. "Cool. What kind? "

Just then Richie knocked on the Kendall's door.

"What's going on?" He asked Jon.

"Just finding out what kinds of movies Trina likes so that I can take her out." Jon replied smugly.

" 'Bout time." Richie said to the two of them.

" 'Bout time?" Jon said.

"Should have done it months ago. Good to see things finally progressing between the two of you other than all of that back and forth."

"What back and forth?" Trina and Jon said together.

Kendall and Richie rolled their eyes. "Jon, Trina likes old movies. Like 'An Affair to Remember', 'Gone with the Wind', 'Imitation of Life'. Kendall told him.

Trina began waving her hands in front of all of them in attempt to get everyone's attention.

"Um, Hello. Can I speak?" She asked.

Kendall shook her head. "No."

"No?" Trina looked surprised.

"Because you'll say no." Kendall said.

"Why would you say no?" Richie asked.

Jon looked at Trina with a curious glance. "Why would you say no?"

Kendall cleared her throat. "Because, she'll feel like she's being placed on the spot."

Richie nodded. He was now standing next to Kendall. "Oh okay. I get it." He told Kendall.
Kendall tapped him gently. "That a boy. You're catching on." She told him.

"Maybe I won't." Trina refuted.

Kendall leaned back in her chair and grinned. She said to her friend "Now, you won't."

Trina was now getting confused. "Huh?"

"You won't because now you know you have to go." Kendall said with a wink.

Trina's eyes narrowed at her friend's sarcasm. She was annoyed with her with being called out on the carpet in front of Jon and Richie, but also knew deep in her heart that her friend was absolutely right. She turned towards Jon.

"I love movies. Old movies. New movies. Comedies, drama, action. I love to jog, love junk food as you know. I'm even trying to like football, although I don't think that's going to happen. But I do like hockey and a good boxing match. But most of all I love music and sunsets. It's that end of the day where everything in the sky is sooo beautiful between night and day. So peaceful."

"Don't forget about wine." Kendall said.

"Oh yeah. I love wine too." Trina said.

Jon looked overwhelmed at the mouthful she gave him. "Wow!" He said.

"I love books too. Romance, non-fiction, historicals. If the stories are well-told, I'm reading them." she replied.

"Okay. " Jon said. he looked over Richie who looked just as surprised as him.

Trina leaned back on the bed. She clapped her hands in agreement. "Okay, now I'm excited. What are going to do on our date?" She asked him.

Jon got up from the bed. He gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Ummm. I'll think of something."

He pointed at the door. Going to go and check on Toby. I told him that we can go some motor cross that he's been dying to go to."

"Oh, that's cool. So, he's okay?" Trina asked.

Jon nodded. "Yeah. he's fine. He was just nervous I think. And also I think with what I do, I don't think he wanted to burden anyone."

"What did you tell him?" Kendall asked.

"That I wanted to be his foster father and that they said no. But it looked like he'll be able to stay with us after all thanks to Juanita. I told him he wasn't a bother to us at all. " Jon told her.

"Why did they turn you down?" Richie said.

"My rock and roll lifestyle. Apparently CPS knows all about me from Page Six. "Jon said sarcastically.

Richie laughed. "Do they know you?"

"Funny that's how Juanita reacted. Anyways, I tried to tell them and they still refused. But, Juanita told Trina and I that they liked her and want to interview her about taking Toby in with her. "

"That's great." Kendall said.

"Isn't it? See, with everything that you were doing and then dealing with your voice. Do you think I give a rat's ass about a date" Trina told him as she gently touched his face.

Jon kissed her fingers.

"No. But, I think I can come up with something." Jon told her.

Trina looked at him with genuine interest.

'What was he going to?' She thought as she watched Jon walked out as quickly as he came in.

Richie, Trina and Kendall sat silent. All wondered what would happen next.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ch. 43

Ch. 43

Everyone around the dinner table had great news this evening. Richie had gotten his solo deal and no one was more happier for him than Jon.

For now, Richie decided to concentrate on getting his friend better. The tour would be resuming soon and after that, Richie’s real work would begin.

Obie and Jon had spent the rest of the afternoon in the studio sifting through live recordings with the possibility of releasing a live CD. Trina was down there as well. Outlining a possible piece for Rolling Stone.

Juanita and Toby meanwhile made cookies. Lots of them so that Toby and his new found friends could sell them on the corner for a bit of pocket change.

"Jon, I figure that if I can make $100 dollars, I can pull my weight around here and get some of my own stuff for school." Toby said.

Jon was impressed by his acumen and ambition. He figured that if there was anyone who could do it, it'd be Toby.

"I bet you could buddy. I don't mind helping you if you need it." Jon told him.

Toby took a piece of fried chicken out of the bowl. It was his 3rd piece. Trina smiled as he took the chicken. His appetite was a healthy.

“I can do it Jon." Toby told him.

Jon gave him a high five. "Okay buddy."

"Toby, we got to go to the doctor's and get your shots for school after CPS comes tomorrow." Juanita said.

"Yes ma'am." Toby replied.

"So, no cookie selling until after lunch." Juanita told him.
"Okay. Jon, do you have to work tomorrow?" Toby asked.

"Some. Obie and I have some stuff to pick out. Would you like to help me?" Jon asked.

"What things?" Toby asked. "I never asked you what you actually do.”

Obie put a fork full of mashed potatoes in his mouth. He told the boy. “He 's a rock star Toby."

Toby giggled in disbelief. "No, he's not. I would have known."

"How?" Trina asked.

"You can't keep something like that a secret." Toby told her.

"I'm not keeping it a secret." Jon told him.

"Then what songs have you sung?”

Jon took a deep breath as he scanned his brain through the different songs he's performed over the years.

"Mmmm. Let's see. Living on Prayer, Runaway. Wanted: Dead or Alive." Jon told him.

Toby thought for a moment. He looked at Jon strangely.

Jon realized that Toby literally had no idea that he was the lead singer of Bon Jovi… Until now.

"Wanted: Dead or Alive? You're that Jon"." Toby asked.

Jon nodded "Yep."

Toby looked at Trina in astonished. Trina nodded. She pointed. "Jon Bon Jovi."

Toby's eyes got big. It explained the house, the bikes, the housekeeper.

"You're Jon Bon Jovi. And that means Richie is Richie Sambora." Toby pointed.

"Correct my little friend. " Richie told him.

Toby looked down at his plate for a minute. Suddenly, the smile he had turned to sadness. He looked at Juanita.

"Juanita, may I be excused." Toby asked her.

Juanita nodded. Everyone began to look worried. Toby got up and went up to his room.

Jon was alarmed. "What's wrong with him?" He asked Juanita.

Juanita replied. “I don't know."

"Maybe he needs some time to absorb everything." Obie told him.

Looking surprised. Kendall said. "I thought he knew."

He got up and put he and Toby's plates on the sideboard countertop. He turned around and said looking at Trina. “Me too. I've gotta talk to him."

"Do you want me to come with you?" She asked him.

Jon shook his head. "No I'll talk to him." Jon said as he exited the room.

Everyone sat silent for several seconds.

"Well that was enough to knock the wind out of a sail." Obie joked.

"Wonder why he got so upset?" Richie asked.

"Because he now thinks he's imposing. Big time rock stars... Why would they spend time with me? I‘m sure that‘s what he‘s thinking." Kendall told him.

“Let's not jump to conclusions." Trina told Kendall.

Kendall shrugged. "I’d bet the farm that he's feeling like he's been wasting everyone's time up until now."

"Why now? You'd think he would have thought so earlier." Obie said.

"He would have if he recognized Jon or Richie. But he didn't so-" Kendall said.

"Jon cares about him just as much as a father would love a son. That's shouldn't and won't change just because Jon's a rock star." Trina injected.

"Hopefully it won't. But don't be surprised if Toby bolts out of here. I did it with your family. Remember? " Kendall warned.

Trina prayed Kendall's theory was wrong. Period.

Jon attempted to walk into Toby's room. Since the door was partially open, he noticed that Toby sat on the edge of his bed quietly looking down at his feet.

With hesitation, Jon knocked on the door.
"Hey, can I come in for a minute buddy?".

Toby looked at him and nodded. Jon came in and noticed all the posters of motorbikes and athletes on Toby's wall. Toby had made this room his own and Jon wanted nothing more than for him to stay.

"Nice room." Jon told him as he continued to look around the room.

"You've never been in here before?" asked Toby.

"Not since you've been here. No. " Jon said as he sat next to him on the bed.

"I was going to tell you about the motocross on Saturday, but you're probably too busy to go." Toby told him.

Jon shrugged. "I’m not doing anything on Saturday. Where is it?"

"The new skate park. There having races all day. Winners get to go to Nationals in California."

"No kidding. I can go with you if you want. It'll be fun. You know how I like bikes." Jon reassured him.

His eyes began to flood with tears. "I'm not bothering you by being here?" Toby asked him.

"Toby, if I didn't want you. I would have had CPS come and take you instead trying to become your foster parent." Jon replied.

Toby's eyes widened. “You wanted to be my dad?"

Jon nodded. "I did. I still do. But, Juanita's going to take care of you as it looks for now. That's why CPS wants to talk to you both tomorrow."

"Oh." Toby said looking both surprised and relieved. "I can stay here?"

"You better stay here. I don't know what i'd do if you weren't here." Jon said.

"You'd be making out with Trina. Giving her "love eyes." Toby told him.

Jon laughed. "Love eyes?" He asked the little boy.

"When you look at her sometimes. You look all dopey and goofy.” Toby told him.

Jon looked stunned. "I do?"

"You do. Obie and I were laughing at you the other day. You were trying to give Trina a kissy." Toby laughed.

"A kissy?" Jon asked him.

"A kiss." Toby puckered his lips as if he were mocking a kiss.

Jon felt his face go warm due to the awkwardness of all of this. He asked the little boy.

"Do I really look like that?"

Toby nodded. "Worse."

Jon's face now was red. "Lordy. I gotta keep myself in check with you."

Toby agreed. "Be strong. Fight the power of the 'love eyes.' You can do it."

"I'll try. Man, I do really need to go on that motocross." Jon told him. Toby nodded. He put his arm around Jon. "Yep Jon. You got it bad."

Jon shook his head. "Man." he mumbled. "I can't believe i'm getting advice from an eleven year old."

Trina eavesdropped. She covered her mouth as she went back downstairs. ‘Love eyes?’ she mumbled. She giggled all the way down the stairs.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Ch. 42

The next couple of weeks at Jon’s house picked up speed.

With the help of new vocal coach, Katie Agresta, Jon learned to pace himself with his voice and not overwork his instrument.

“Small goals first, bigger goals later.” Katie told him during their first lesson.

She knew how eager he was to get back on the road.

In between a brief hiatus between the Slippery and New Jersey CD’s, Jon had built a studio in his basement that he and the band usually used for demos.

It was there where he and Katie worked daily on his voice. During this time also, Jon was learning more and more about his own personal limitations.

Despite the tattoo he wore proudly on his shoulder. Jon was fully aware he was not Superman. If he wanted to come back and do all of this correctly, he needed to become more patient with himself and let his body heal in its own way.

Working on the small goals as Katie wanted, Jon began with scales. Painful as it was for his voice, by the time he mastered it a couple of weeks later, people were noticeably pleased with the difference.

Since Giants wasn’t going to happen right away, Obie delayed the "safety" issue into letting the press know that since everyone had come to terms the Giants show date would be moved to the end of the summer. That would give Jon two more months to ready himself and make his voice even stronger.

Trina kept herself busy with the Jersey Club scene, interviewing legends Southside Johnny and the Ashbury Jukes to even landing an impromptu interview with a “certain” E Street Band member after he visited Jon one night for dinner.

Doc came down to see Jon’s progress and to also finally meet the newest employee of Bon Jovi team, Kendall. He was pleased with the way both of them were improving. Especially Kendall.

When Doc visited, Jon began to feel an enormous strain between the two of them. No longer feeling like a valued partner who was running the course of his destiny, he felt as if he was simply a product of a machine where Doc no longer saw him as the person he was, but a thing where he could get as much money as possible for as long as it took.

Jon primarily trained with Katie in the morning, followed by a workout for ninety minutes. He then would usually jog with Trina introducing her to the sights and sounds of his neighborhood.

By the time they came back, the two usually shared some breakfast with Toby followed by spending as much time with the little boy as possible.

Jon loved indulging Toby with his love for dirt bikes and football. He never felt so relaxed during his time off. Ever.

He enjoyed his time with Trina and Toby so much that he felt himself at times racing through his vocal therapy just to be with the two of them for the rest of the day.

Jon and Trina did try to find Toby’s parents, but to their dismay, found out that his parents had abandoned him. Jon contacted Child Protective Services about becoming a foster parent to Toby, but because of his profession and until his lifestyle calmed a bit, CPS denied him.

Slamming down the phone receiver. Jon yelled. “What the fuck?”

Trina walked by the office. She peered through the door looking curious after hearing the crash of the phone against the desk. She asked

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

Jon was angry. He raked his hands through his long brown mane and placed one of his hands underneath his chin. He motioned for her to come in.

“Shut the door.” He commanded.

She came in and shut the door as he asked. She sat in the chair across from him. His blue eyes were dark with rage.

“Jon, what’s wrong?” Trina asked. She had never seen him that way before.

“They won’t let me be Toby’s foster parent.” He told her.


Jon eyes were filled with disappointment. “They said it was my rock star lifestyle. They didn’t think it would be the best environment for a child.”

Trina was in shock. “What? They’ve never been here. How the hell would they know?”

Jon nodded. “I know. That’s what I asked the witch. And then she said.' We know. We read Page Six.' I’m like, half of that isn’t even true. Why don’t you just come and see what I do day in and day out? She’s like. 'Oh Mr. Bon Jovi, it’s not necessary. We do sympathize with you, however the roving nature of your profession is not a stable environment for an eleven year old. Perhaps when you’re not so much in the spotlight, we will be reconsider'….I hung up on her after that.”

“I don’t blame you. I’m dying to know now what is a stable environment? Him being used a punching bag? Or looking for his next meal in a trash dumpster?” Trina asked sarcastically. She hit his desk in anger. “Damn it!”

“I’m beyond pissed!” Jon said.

“Beyond pissed about what?” Juanita asked opening up the door. She walked in with a cup of steaming tea. She placed it on his desk.

“I made you that ginger tea for your voice that Katie recommended you have.”

“Thanks Juanita.” Jon said as he took a sip.

“Why are you beyond pissed? For once I didn’t do anything.” Juanita teased.

“They won’t let me become a foster parent to Toby.” Jon told her.

Looking surprised. Juanita asked. “Why?”

“My rock star lifestyle is too unstable according to CPS.”

Juanita laughed. “Do they know you?”

Trina laughed at loud at Juanita’s delivery of the words. Jon looked at both women blankly. They quickly erased the smiles from their faces.

Juanita sighed. “Thank god that CPS is coming here to interview me tomorrow then. Because I’ll them about themselves.”

Jon and Trina looked at each other wondering what Juanita was talking about.

“Wait a minute, they’re coming here tomorrow?” Jon asked.

Juanita told him. “Yes, I’m being interviewed to be that child’s foster parent.”

Trina smiled. Juanita winked at Jon. He was relieved. He walked over to her and hugged his longtime assistant/surrogate mother. He planted a cheek on her cheek.

“Thank you.” he told her.

“Thank you Jonny. It’s been years since I’ve raised a little boy. To get a second chance and still let him be here with you where he’s comfortable and settled, makes me happy... To no end.” Juanita squealed.

“He’s such a great kid.” Jon told her.

“And one day. You’re going to be a great father. I’ve never seen you feel this way about someone since-” Juanita looked at Trina.

Trina looked at Jon with an amused smirk.

“Since the Giants won the playoffs!” Jon teased. Trina rolled her eyes. “Oh God!” she told him.

“God nothing. God is Giants! They will win the Bowl this year. You’ll see.”

“Do I have to?” Trina joked.

“Yep. If its only once. It’ll be fun. Get seats on the field…”

“Get tackled by some guy named Tiny.” Trina teased.

“Meet Phil Simms and Lawrence Taylor.” Jon chimed in.

“Get tackled by some guy named Tiny.” Trina retorted.

Jon walked over to Trina’s chair. He bent down to meet her. He played with her hair.

“I’ll protect you from Tiny.” Jon reassured her.

Jesting, she replied with a wink to Juanita. “Who’s going to protect me from you?”

“Me? No worries.” Jon replied.

Trina began to smooth back his hair. She also began to tip his head playfully back and forth. Jon looked at her strangely as did Juanita.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Checking to see why the halo no longer fits.” She told him.

Jon turned red. Juanita let out a huge belly laugh.

“Oh Trina! Girl, I knew you had it in you!” Juanita continued as she walked out the door.

“Trying to see why the halo doesn’t fit.” Jon mumbled as he got up.

Trina continued to laugh as they sat in Jon’s office.


Richie and Kendall were in New York City that same afternoon at the Polygram Records headquarters.

They were nervously awaiting news on Richie’s demo.

Richie was silent as he waited outside of Alain Levy’s office. He had spent a couple of hours explaining to the president of Polygram the origins of every song he presented.

Alain, just as passionate as Richie’s counterpart Jon, loved each song and had to for business reasons, question him on every choice. He knew that Richie poured his heart and soul into this solo effort, but as fulfilling for Richie personally this was, this also had to be marketable for Polygram. Just like any Bon Jovi CD would and could be.

Richie agreed. Although it’s a departure from Bon Jovi, he felt that his talents and writing could more than hold its own.

Alain respected that. He wanted to listen to the tape once more and then decide if Richie should record this particular CD or try again with other material.

Doc was in the room as well. He was very proud of Richie. The demo was good. Very good. He knew that if anyone could break out from Bon Jovi with a solo effort, it’d be Richie.

As much as Doc loved Jon’s business sense, Richie to him was the better singer while Jon was the better showman.

For Doc, each one had their own strengths and weaknesses. Doc just hoped that Polygram wouldn’t use their talents to pit one against the other.

Richie tried to peek through the door to see what was happening while Kendall calmly leafed through a magazine.

“See anything?” She asked while never taking her eyes off her magazine.

Richie tried to peer through but was unsuccessful. He walked back and sat next to her.

“Nothing. The two of them are both sitting there and not saying a word.”

“Maybe no news is good news Rich.” Kendall told him.

“Maybe no news is that I need to go back to the drawing board.” He said.

“Richie, that demo is good. What’s the worst that will happen? You’ll take a song or two out and add in probably one that you and them will probably end up liking better.” Kendall reassured him. She put the magazine down next to her.

“They don’t hate it.” Richie said questioning himself.

“No they don’t. It’s really good.” Kendall said holding his hand in attempt to calm his nerves.

“Doc better be sticking up for me.”

Kendall looked concerned. “You think he wouldn’t?”

Richie shrugged. “I don’t know. Jon’s feeling as if he’s some product instead of a human being when he’s around lately. I don’t want to end up feeling the same way about him. Doc’s been good to all of us.”

“It’s a business Rich. Doc for now has to look at it this way. I’m sure he loves Jon. In fact, I know he does because he told me, but there’s advance money that was promised and contracts that were signed and everyone’s on edge about that. Bon Jovi is a brand. Think of it like Coke or Pepsi. Why? Because Jon and Doc touted it that way to promoters to fill the seats. They’re excellent businessmen. It was a good thing they did in a way. Jon’s probably regretting it now because he planned too many dates and with his voice… He knows Doc is pressuring him to get better to fulfill the dates because of the contracts. Not saying that Doc’s attitude is right…But as a employee. I kind of get it.” She said.

Richie couldn’t get mad at her because he understood from a business standpoint as an employee where she was coming from and that’s where her opinion was coming from. He was impressed with how much she had learned about the music business in such a short time.

Just as Richie whispered “Thank you.” to Kendall. Alain and Doc opened the door.

Alain came out beaming at Richie.

“Hey man. C’mon in. Got some things to talk to you about.” the President of the label said to him grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah?” Richie said.

“Definitely.” Alain said as Doc clapped his hands in excitement.

Alain acknowledged Kendall and Doc waved at her.

Kendall smiled. Richie did it. He was going to have his first solo effort. Nothing could be better.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Ch. 41

Music Playlist at

As the day played out, there was still no sign of Jon.

Obie and Richie came over after Trina called them sounding very concerned that Jon hadn’t returned home.

Concerned about their friend, Richie instead of taking Kendall to lunch, waited alongside Trina with nervous anticipation.

12:00 pm… 1 pm...2 pm…went by in slow succession. In attempt to keep themselves busy, Obie began to show Kendall the business side of the tour, while Trina did some research for an upcoming piece on the group The Hooters.

Richie couldn’t relax. He was unable to do anything until he saw his friend walk through the door. This was unlike Jon. His appointment was hours ago.
If the news were good, he would have been here yakking up a storm and driving us crazy.’

He briefly checked the clock in the kitchen and then placed his head down on the kitchen countertop.

“It’s 2:15!” Richie mumbled through his folded arms.

Continuing to go over paperwork with Kendall. Obie calmly replied. “And?”

Agitated, Richie looked up at Obie and Trina.
“Where the hell is he? His appointment was at nine this morning.”

“Maybe after the doctor’s he had some stuff to do.” Obie told him.

“He was supposed to take Toby out to get some clothes. Juanita took him instead.” Trina told them.

Obie shrugged looking perplexed. “Could he be in Sayreville?”

Trina nodded. “That’s where Carol and John live right?”

“He was there after his appointment. His little brother Matt told me.” Richie told them.

“What did Matt say? Did everything go okay?” Obie asked.

Richie shrugged. “He didn’t know. They kicked him out the when Jon came in.”

“Shit! Was Tony there?” Obie asked.

Richie nodded. “No. He was at a friend’s house.”

“He wouldn’t just forget about Toby.” Trina said.

A mass of nerves, Richie got up and began to pace the floor.
“If he fucked up his voice he would.”

“Rich, what the hell are you trying to do? Pace a freakin’ hole in my imported floor? Mom, will kill you.” Jon jested as he came in with a couple of paper bags.

Everyone looked up. Their eyes widened with curiosity, trying to figure out any and everything about Jon’s body language. They needed a sign. Frustrated with several seconds of silence, Obie blurted out.

“How did it go?”

Jon acknowledged him. He was amazingly calm. He went past them and placed the bags on the back counter.
“Fine. Juanita and Trina will be happy to know that I no longer need a notebook.”

Trina clapped. She walked over to him. She touched him gently on the arm. She looked in the bag.
“You went shopping?”

“Yeah. I decided to freak out Juanita even further by actually picking up some stuff for her. The rest is in the car.” He told everyone.

When no one moved at first. Jon lifted an eyebrow in a way to suggest that needed to speak to Trina alone for a bit.

When everyone went out to get the rest of the food, Trina stayed behind helping Jon unload the food he had placed on the counter.

“You forgot about taking Toby shopping.” Trina reminded.

Jon raked his hands through his hair. He rolled his eyes in disbelief over what he had done.

“Shit! Oh my God! I’m so sorry. Is he pissed? By the time, I got out of the doctors, and visited my parents and then to the store. I totally lost track of time.” he explained.

She put down a can of vegetables and turned to him.

“Okay, it’s you and me. No Obie, Richie or even Juanita to drive you nuts. By the way she took Toby shopping for you by the way.”

Jon took a deep breath. He leaned sideways against the countertop and smiled. Trina’s eyes lit up. She ran into his arms.

“You can sing again? Really?” She asked.

He turned her towards him. “Not great. In fact, I can barely carry a tune. At least what people are used to hearing from me. So the doctor’s said I have to learn how to sing all over again, the right way.”

“How long will that take?” Trina asked.

“To get me through Giants? The rest of the tour? Another month, maybe a little longer, but the doctor’s were impressed how quickly my vocal cords healed. So who knows. I have to go back in a couple weeks for a follow up.

Trina nodded her head in agreement. She could hardly contain her excitement. She was so pleased that Jon’s gift wasn’t taken from him. Second chances are hard to come by. She hoped he cherished what he has and what he can do for others with his gift.

Pulling away from him for a moment, she tucked his hair back between his ear exposing his chiseled face.

“We all were scared shitless. We hadn’t heard from you and then you were gone for so long.”

“I didn’t get any sleep. I really thought I fucked up. I was literally parked in the front of the doctor’s office for two hours just thinking about what I’d do if I “couldn’t” sing.

“And?” she asked.

“And, for some reason there was this calm when I thought about Toby…And you.”


He nodded. “Yeah. It came over me pretty fast. I felt at peace. Whatever happened I knew that you and I would be okay. And no matter what, I’d make sure that Toby had a home and that he’d be fine.”

She went into his arms again, resting her chin against his chest looking up at him. She asked.

“You didn’t think of singing?”

“Some. But it always came back to you, Mom, Dad, Matt, Tony and Toby.

“You know whatever happens to you. I’d still be here right?” Trina reassured him.

Jon nodded. “Yes I do. Trin, I can’t explain it. I know that if there wasn’t a band, Richie and the rest of the guys would be okay. But I had to wonder a little about Obie and Juanita. ”

“Obie would be a sound engineer for another band. He’s a very talented man. And Juanita would be with her boys. I’d be writing for the Philly Post and Kendall would probably work for Richie.”

Jon laughed. “That’s a sight…Wonder how much work would get done there. So-”

Trina interrupted. “So, I think at times that as much as you can not only be my nervous breakdown and constantly the center of everyone’s universe in Jovi land, you realized that life would go on if there was no Bon Jovi. ”

“You think?” he quipped. He continued. “I knew when my voice was gone, I had fucked up. The powers up above gave me a gift and I took it for granted. Life lesson for sure.” He told her softly.

“What the hell happened to my kitchen?” Juanita yelled with Toby in tow.

The boy not only wore a new pair of shorts and a t-shirt, but appeared to have a haircut. Trina walked over to him, kneeling in front of him.

“Someone looks handsome. ”

“Miss Juanita said my hair was too long. I was trying to tell her that I wanted it to grow it out like Jon and Richie and she said. ’No!’ Toby said.

“Well I like it!” Kendall told Toby as she, Obie and Richie brought the rest of the bags in.

“Me too!” Jon told him. Jon bent over to the boy. He whispered in his ear. ’”Now, everyone knows that you’re better looking than me.”

Toby laughed. “I know. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure that I leave you and Richie a girlfriend or two.”

Trina let out a huge laugh. She put her hand over her mouth in an attempt to muffle how loud she was. Jon snickered. He said to Toby.

“In other words, Richie and I get your leftovers?”

“Well…Yeah.” Toby joked.

Jon and Richie looked blankly at one another. Juanita laughed hysterically. “I love this boy. Been around here less than 24 hours and already he has Jon and Richie speechless.”

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Ch. 40

Music Playlist at

Jon decided not to wake up anyone as he headed towards the doctor’s office.

Sleep didn’t come easily for him. He was a bundle of anxiety.

He knew by talking yesterday, it could potentially do more harm than good, but he had grown tired of communicating through notebooks and a pen.

He had been driving around for a couple of hours attempting to put things into perspective before the doctors did it for him.

The street was virtually empty as he thought.

‘Okay Jonny, maybe singing isn’t everything. You had fun with Trina and the others yesterday. So what does that mean?…Means that you can have fun without picking up a guitar or performing for once. For the first time in a long time. You were you. ’

He went through town a second time. His mind continued to wander. ‘You could write songs? …Write yes…But knowing me, I’d want to sing and if I can’t, well that’ll be the end of that.

His car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road. In fact, he stopped in front of the doctor’s office.

Car idling, he looked down at his watch. It wasn’t even 7 a.m. yet. His appointment wasn’t for hours.

Toby’s such a good kid. There’s gotta be something we can do for him. After what he told us, we have to make sure that he doesn’t go back to that foster home.’ Jon thought.

His mind still raced. An image of Giants Stadium and seeing a sea of people suddenly came to him.

‘Giants. If I could sing anywhere that’s where it would be. All those times that dad, grandpa and I spent at the games. Good memories. To play here and see Dad’s face…

He fought back tears. His heart went back to Trina.

Trina. I know things would be okay if I wasn’t singing anymore. But just how would things be between us? Richie and the rest of band would go and do other stuff. But Juanita?… What would she do? Would I need to go get a job? God, a 9-5 gig would drive me to drink. I’m such a freakin’ night owl. I barely get up these days before 10 or 11.…What the hell am I going to do?’

He continued to sit in the car. He had turned off the engine, however the stereo in the background played a fairly new Richard Marx tune that resonated with him more than any Bon Jovi tune that he could write at the moment.

He needed this time. If anyone else were with him, instead of being at the doctors, he’d be stalking the nearest pub, begging the owners to open so that he could have a drink….or two….or three…Anything to avoid this…


“Trina, Trina!” Toby shook jumping on Trina’s bed.

It was 10:30 a.m. She was fast asleep when she felt something jumping on her legs.

Groggy, she looked up and there was Toby grinning from ear to ear. Trina smiled at him.
“Good morning” She said to him.

“Good morning!” Toby yelled still jumping on the bed.

Trina smiled. The dark circles that had framed Toby’s brown eyes the night before were gone. He was a happy, rested little boy.

She sat up and before he could jump once more, she grabbed onto his legs, pushing him down next to her. He squealed with joy. Trina quipped.

“Got ya!” She said giving him a hug. “Didn’t your mom tell you that it wasn’t nice to jump on the bed?”

Toby laughed. He shook his head. “No!” he said.

“Well, it’s not nice.” She winked at him.

“Okay.” he said sitting next to her now on the bed.

“Did you sleep well?” She asked.

“Yep.” he nodded.

“Very good. Very good. Let’s see. Did you eat breakfast yet? What time is it?” she said looking at her clock.

“It’s 10:30. And Miss Juanita is great. She was a lot nicer today. She made bacon, eggs, waffles with tons of butter and syrup.” Toby said.

Trina was happy that he slept well. She asked.

“How many waffles did you have?”

“Four.” he said.

She raised her eyebrows. Juanita’s waffles were huge. She could barely get through two. She was surprised that he had four. She began to laugh.

“Four? Weren’t you a hungry man?”

“Yes he was.” Chimed in Juanita giving him a hug. She continued. “He’s quite the helper too. He rinsed out his plate and put it in the dishwasher.”

“Well isn’t that something?” Trina said.

“Toby darlin’, Jon thought it’d be great if he took you shopping later. He wanted me to tell you that when he got back from the doctor’s he’d take you to get some new stuff. Would you like that?” Juanita asked.

“Really? Where is he? He was gone when I got up.” Toby asked.

“Doctor’s appointment baby.” Juanita told him looking at her watch. “Actually, he should have been back by now.” Juanita said looking at Trina.

“He didn’t want any of us to go with him?” Trina asked her.

Juanita shook her head. “He probably thought we’d drive him nuts.”

“We would have.” Trina said.

Juanita replied. “I did enough of that last night.”

“You just care about him Juanita.” Trina reassured her.

“Yes. I do. All I want is for him to be happy.” She told Trina.

“Me too.” Trina said softly.

“Me three!” Toby chimed in as three of them laughed.

“Okay little man, let’s get you washed up. Jon will be back in a little while.” Juanita told Toby.

The little boy jumped off the bed. He began to follow Juanita out.

“Okay Juanita!”

Trina looked at the alarm clock. It was now 11:00 a.m. She thought.

‘Whenever you are. I hope you’re okay.’

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Ch. 39

Music Playlist at

As the girls got Toby washed up, Jon ,Richie Trina and Kendall couldn’t help but watch Toby eat virtually everything the girls put in front of him.

Pasta, cookies, pie, ice cream were washed down with several glasses of milk.

During dinner, they found out that Toby was indeed eleven years old and ran from child protective services after his foster parents had a penchant for not only hitting each other, but him as well.

Jon sat next to the boy. The two shared between them the last pieces of apple pie and milk. Between a fork full of apple filling, Jon asked him.

“So after you ran from them a couple of weeks ago, you’ve been living at the beach?”

Toby nodded as he took another huge swig of milk. He nodded.

“Uh-huh. Decided to look for treasure. I figure that if I can find something to give my real mom and dad, then maybe they’ll take me back home. ” He told Jon as he wiped his milk mustache off with his shirt sleeve. Trina gave him a napkin.
The little boy grabbed the napkin. He replied. “Thanks Trina.”

Jon and Trina looked at each other. They had a feeling that Toby may be staying with them longer than a day.

“Jon, this is a huge house. Is it really all yours?” Toby asked.

Jon smiled. “Yeah. It’s all mine.”

Toby stretched his neck as he looked around the kitchen.

“You must be rich. My old house wasn't this big.”

The girls chuckled. Jon patted him on the back. “I guess you can say that I’m lucky.”

“Will you throw some my way?” Toby joked.

“Sure I will buddy.” Jon told him.

Full from eating Jon out of house and home, Toby began to yawn. He was now freshly showered and dressed in an old pair of Jon’s sweatpants and a t-shirt that practically fell off of him.

Jon looked at his watch. It was close to midnight.

“Buddy. Gotta get you to bed. It’s late.”

Peering through sleepy eyes, Toby replied. “Getting tired.”

Richie began to get up from the table. He started to exit the kitchen. “I bet. Because I am too.” He replied to the boy.

Kendall got up and followed Richie.

“I’ll see you out.” Kendall said.

“Night Rich.” Trina waved.

Richie waved to all of them as he exited. “Goodnight everyone.”

The two walked to the door. Kendall had noticed Richie’s silence since they had found Toby earlier.

“I had a great time today.” Kendall told him.

Richie stood in front of the door. He turned and smiled warmly at her. He replied. “Me too.”

“You’ve been quiet since we found Toby.” Kendall told him as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Just taking it all in. He’s a good kid.”

“He is. It was great that Jon put him up.” Kendall said.

“Definitely. Jonny’s good like that.”

“So are you.” Kendall told him.

“I’m trying Ken… I’m trying. Lunch tomorrow?” Richie asked her.

“Sure. It’s a date.” Kendall replied.

“A date huh? We’re dating now?” Richie joked.

“I don’t know Sambora, you tell me.” Kendall winked.

He bent down and kissed her cheek.

“See you tomorrow. For our lunch ‘date.’ He said.

Kendall giggled.

“Goodnight.” She said as she let him out the door. She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked towards the kitchen. She missed him already. The way he felt. The smell of him, his strength in the way he held her. Her body was aching.

When she had made it into the kitchen, she noticed that Trina was by herself cleaning up the kitchen.

Trina turned toward her. She smiled warmly at her best friend. She noticed and remembered Kendall’s body language from when they were children. Kendall used to hold herself a lot as a child. It was her way of wanting protection or reassurance of some kind.

Trina walked over to her. She hugged her as tight as she could. Tears flowed down Kendall’s face. Trina wiped them away as quickly as they fell.

“Jon went to bed?” Kendall asked

Trina nodded. “No. He’ll be back. He’s getting Toby settled and was going to jump into the shower. Miss him already?”

Kendall pulled away from her. “Look at me Trin, I’m a mess. We got so close over the last few weeks, and things were soooo perfect...”

“But?” Trina asked.

“But I don’t know. Just when we’re at this point, there seems to be a wall coming up. I’m feeling as if I’m crashing head first into it. ”

Trina put her arm around her friend.

“Oh no. Maybe this is all too fast for him. He just broke up with Ally. He’s crazy about you. And the whole drama with Jon and his voice. Not to mention the upcoming tryout he’s got for his own work. I really think he’s got a lot on his mind.” Trina reassured her.

Kendall wiped her face. She looked suspicious.

“I know he was wondering about me.”

“With Toby you mean?” Trina asked as she went to the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of Pinot Grigio and a couple of glasses. She placed them down on the counter and began to pour the wine into glasses.
“I don’t think so.” Trina continued.

“No?” Kendall asked.

Trina passed her friend a glass took a sip out of hers.
“Nope. It's Jon’s talking. It scared the shit out of him. I could tell. It concerned everyone tonight including me. Look how Juanita reacted."

“I have a feeling he’ll be okay tomorrow. I noticed the hoarseness in his voice was gone after awhile.” Kendall said

Trina nodded.

“True. I don’t think I was as upset with him for talking as much as whether or not he can sing because of what he could be doing to his voice.” Trina said.

Kendall sipped some more of her wine. “He’s a strong one. I love how he was with Toby.”

Trina beamed. “You noticed it too? God, he’s so good with him.”

Kendall nodded. “Makes you wonder just how great of a dad he’ll be.”

Trina replied. “It’s been running in the back of my mind since he agreed to bring Toby back.”

Jon came downstairs. He noticed the two ladies deep in thought complete with wine on the countertop. He waltzed in and got a glass. He stood next to Trina. He playfully looked over at her and smiled when he noticed her drink.

“You know, I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you drink more than a bottle of beer.” He told her.

She grinned as she continued to sip her wine.

“A glass of wine or two doesn’t hurt every now and then. Toby asleep?”

“The minute his head hit the pillow.” He told her pouring himself a glass of wine.

“My cue to leave. Getting sleepy myself.” Kendall told them both as she hugged Trina.

“Goodnight honey. No worries okay?” Trina whispered to her friend. Kendall nodded.

“No worries.” Kendall told her as she went up to her room.

Trina began to yawn. Jon laughed nervously.
“You nervous about tomorrow?” She asked him.

He took a sip of a wine from his glass. He replied.


“It’s my fault. I‘m sorry.” Trina said.

“For what? Trina, you didn’t make me open my mouth. I did it because I wanted to. I wanted to talk to you and to Toby.”

“What happens if you can’t sing because of it?” Trina asked.

“I don’t know. It’s weird. There’s a part of me that’s concerned about it, and another that isn’t.”

Trina shot him a curious look. “No?”

“No. I can’t control it. So why keep dwelling on it. That’s at least what I keep trying to tell myself. But everything with Toby? I liked helping him tonight. And you being with me…The two of us helping him together.”

Trina beamed as she finished her glass.
“Awww. I’m glad. He’s a good kid.”

“He’s great. I’ll never understand how people could just hit someone who couldn’t fight back just because they could.” Jon told her.

Finishing up his drink, he began to pour himself another glass.

Trina agreed. “Me either. Kids don't ask to be here on earth, they’re brought here with love and hope. At least they should be. It’s sad to see hatred and fear coming from a child that entrusted their love into parents who could give a rat’s ass.”

“It’s as if you get it with him.” Jon said.

Trina nodded her had. “No. My parents are and were great to me. However, Kendall’s? They were the worst.

“She turned out okay.” Jon told her.

“Not without scars. Her ability to trust and love is something she questions about herself constantly.”Trina told him.

“I can understand that.” he told her.

“We brought Kendall into our home after her stepfather nearly beat her to death when she was 12.” Trina said.

Jon looked stunned. Trina nodded.

“She was scared to come home with us at first. She loved my parents to death. She wound up running away because she thought she couldn’t measure up to what they wanted. I thought we’d never find her. My mother must have cried every single day until Kendall was found. I did too.”
Her voice quivered a bit. Jon held her hand. She continued.

“When she and I saw Toby earlier and we watched you with him. It reminded me so much of how my family took such good care of Kendall. Especially my dad.”

Jon now understood the bond between she and Kendall. He was falling more and more for her as she continued to speak.

I’m in freefall. I haven’t come down since Kendall came here this morning.’ He thought as he watched and listened to her talk about the relationship she and Kendall had.

‘Is this really what it was like? If this 'is' it? Then what the fuck was I doing with Dot for so long?” He thought.
By now, she had let his hand go. She washed her glass and placed it in the dish rack. Jon quickly gulped down the remainder of his drink and gave her the glass to wash and put on the rack to dry. Underneath the rack, she pressed the power button on the dishwasher so that Juanita had clean dishes in the morning.

“Figured I’d help out Juanita for a change.” Trina said.

“Shocked won’t be the word when she sees a clean kitchen tomorrow.” Jon said.

Trina laughed. “See, it’s always the little things.”

Jon laughed “True.”

She walked over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. She said to him softly.

“Night Jonny. Thanks for everything.”

“Sure you don’t want to have a slumber party or something?” He teased.

Trina laughed. “Not tonight. I may fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.”

“Well, if you find that you can’t sleep and would like someone to help you with that, you know where to find me.” He joked as he pulled her close to him.

His lips brushed against hers loving the sweet taste of both wine and her.

As she pulled away, she closed her eyes. She was content. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day.

“You’re making my head spin. I really better go up now.” She said.

“Head spinning’s good. Makes you do things that only do a body good.” He winked.

Trina made herself walk away from him.

She chuckled. “I swear Bon Jovi if you had red horns, my conscious would call you a bad influence.”

“Damn, it wouldn’t call me a horny devil? Shit..I gotta work on that.” Jon said.

Trina‘s face turned red. She raised an eyebrow. “I really have to go…Now.”

Jon nodded. “Okay. Sweet dreams baby.”

Sprinting up the stairs, she replied.

“You too.”

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Ch. 38

As the four of them left the beach, they headed towards the parking lot.

Trina had noticed a little boy wandering around them. She had noticed him earlier in the day doing the same thing.

He seemed to be looking for something, what she wasn’t sure of.

He couldn’t have been more than 11 years old wearing a blue t-shirt and matching shorts that from the looks of them hadn’t been was washed in several days.

Trina continued to watch the boy while the others were now in the parking lot packing up the bikes. She had a chance to look at the boy’s brown eyes, which still were looking for something, anything.

Jon tapped her on the shoulder, startling her for a second. He giggled. He whispered. “Ready to go home?”

Trina leaned over, she said in Jon’s ear. “That boy has been wandering around all day.”

“By himself?” Jon mouthed.

“Trina shrugged. “I don’t know. He seems to be looking for something.”

Jon looked troubled as he also began to watch the boy comb through the trash bins in the parking lot fighting back tears.

The boy’s hair was filthy. He appeared both exhausted and hungry. Jon went to the back of his motorcycle and took out the container of shrimp alfredo the four of them had been eating earlier along with an extra plastic fork.

Trina looked on. She was alarmed for the boy. She thought.
‘Where were his friends? His family?’

Jon went back over to the her. He gave her the container and fork. He whispered to her. “He’s hungry. Can you give him this?”

Trina nodded. “Sure.”

The two of them walked over the boy who was still rummaging through some trash cans. Upset that he was coming up empty handed, Trina gently touched the boy on the shoulder.

The boy was afraid that he was going to end into trouble. He began to run towards the beach.

“Whoa!” yelled Trina.

Jon ran after him. An avid runner, Jon caught up with him pummeling him to the ground. The boy kicked and screamed. Trina, Richie and Kendall seconds later met up with Jon and the boy.

The little boy squealed, “No! No! No! I wasn’t doing anything. I’m not going with you.”

“Buddy, it’s okay. We’re not going to hurt you.” Trina said in an attempt to reassure him.

Jon quickly grabbed him and held his arm so that he wouldn’t flee.
“Stop!” He told him with a hoarse voice. “We don’t want to hurt you.”

The boy cried as he continued to struggle free from Jon.

“Yes you do! You want to take me and put me in that shelter!” He screamed.

Trina upon getting a closer look at the child, noticed that he was frail. She realized it had been several weeks since he had a bath or something substantial to eat.

“Who wants to take you?” Trina asked.

“CPS.” he told her. “They want me to go with them because they said I’d be better off.”

“CPS?” Trina asked.

“Child Protective Services.” Kendall told her friend.
She walked over to the boy. “Sometimes things can get better, sometimes things can get much worse after they take over.”

The boy nodded his head in agreement. His muscles began to relax under Jon’s firm hold.

“Got that right lady.” He told Kendall.

Kendall bent down in front of the boy.“What’s your name buddy?” She asked him.

“You’ve been there too huh?” he asked her.

She understood him completely. When she was little she had been taken by CPS because of her parent’s abuse. At times, foster care at least for her at times was until finally the right family came along.

She threw a weak smile at him. “I do. My name is Kendall.”

In anticipation over what would happen if he gave his name out, the boy stayed silent.

“It’s okay. We’re not going to do anything to you.” Jon whispered.

Now shaking uncontrollably, the boy said, “My name is Toby.”

“Hi Toby. I’m Trina.” She said as she bent down next to Kendall. “This is Richie and the guy who’s got you in a death lock is Jon.” Trina quipped as she pointed at each one. Richie waved. Jon smiled.

Acknowledging them all, Toby said “Hi.”

Sensing that Toby now wouldn’t leave, Jon let him go. Toby stood in front of them silently.

“Toby, what are you doing wandering around so late?” Trina asked.

Toby looked down at the sand sadly. “Just looking.” he told her.

“For what buddy? Did you lose something?” Kendall asked

Toby shook his head. “Umm. Yeah. I lost my treasure.

“Treasure? You’re looking for treasure this late?” Trina asked.

“Oh yeah. It’s real important that I find it. If I can give it to my folks, then we’ll be rich.” He told Trina.

Kendall looked at Toby with concern. She knew there was no treasure, but like Trina she wondered where his parents were. She glanced at Richie, who also was worried for the boy.

“What kind of treasure is it? May we can help you find it.” Kendall told him.

Toby nodded. “Oh no. You can’t see the thing. It’s so personal to my family that no one here would understand the importance of bringing this home.”

“That big huh?” Jon whispered.

Toby agreed. “Yep. That big.”

Trina looked up at Jon. “Jon, can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Sure.” He told her as the two of them walked up the beach for a bit.

“What’s up?” Jon whispered.

“You know there’s no treasure right?” Trina told him.

Jon nodded. “Of course I do.” he said.

“He looks so tired. Hungry. He won’t just take that food.” Trina said.

“I know.” Jon said.

Trina looked over at the boy again. Her eyes studied him from top to bottom.

“I wonder how long he’s been wandering?” she asked.

Jon looked her. He admired how she was handling all of this.

“He can’t stay out here.” Trina said.

Jon touched his throat. Despite him not talking for weeks, he thought that his throat would hurt a lot more than it did. He said with a hoarse tone.

“Can’t just bring him back to the house.”

“Why not?” Trina asked.

“What if he has parents that are looking for him? They’ll be worried sick.”

“If he did, don’t you think that they would found him by now? Look at him.” Trina pleaded.

Jon looked at the boy. She was right. If someone was looking for him and if they lived in the area, they would have found him.
‘There goes my night with her.’ he thought as he looked at her blue eyes met his sadly
'God, I hate it when she’s right sometimes. I wonder how long he’s been out here?’ Jon asked himself.

He looked at Trina once more. Her eyes continued to plead. Playfully, she tugged at Jon's shirt in an attempt to garner a sympathetic response.

“You’re killing me Trin.” He whispered.

“Please Jon. I promise tomorrow, it’s just you and me.” Trina told him.

Jon stared her. He took her hands into his and kissed the top of them. He shook his head. He whispered. “Okay. For you.”

Trina squealed with joy and hugged him. He kissed the top of her head.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” She told him.

He pulled away form her for a minute. He gently cupped her face into his hands. He told her.
“You’re undoing me. Every minute, every second. All I want is-”

She gently put her fingers over his lips. She interrupted. “Plenty of time for that. Right?”

“I guess. Although tonight would have been perfect.” He told her mumbling as her grabbed her hand again and kissed it.
The two walked back to the others hand in hand. Trina broke free from Jon, again kneeling down in front of Toby.

“Toby, you know, Jon and I were talking and we think that we can help you find that treasure.”

“Yeah? How?” He asked her.

“Well, we could start in the morning. It’s around here somewhere right?” She asked him.

Toby shrugged his shoulders. “Not sure. It could be anywhere to be honest.”

Jon took a deep breath. He looked at his watch. It was 10:30. It was too late for a little boy to be out by himself.

“Toby, we can help you look for it tomorrow. I know some people who could help. Why don’t we take you home.” Jon said.

“Oh that’s okay Jon. I live up the street.” Toby said.

Jon and the others looked up the street. There was nothing there but Trash receptacles and boxes.

“Toby, where up the street?” Kendall asked.

Toby pointed at a large box. “ Over there.”

Trina looked at Jon in horror. “Oh my god. “ she mumbled.

Jon shook his head. “Toby, why don’t you stay with Trina and I at my house. I got plenty of room. I promised you we can look for the treasure first thing tomorrow.”

“You promise?” Toby asked.

“Yeah buddy I promise.” Jon told him.

Trina and Kendall were relieved as Toby nodded his head in agreement.

“Good. Let’s get you home.” Trina smiled as she put his arm around Toby.

“I’m going to call Juanita and have her pick up myself and Kendall. You guys can follow us on the bikes.” Trina said as Kendall followed back to the parking lot where the pay phones were set up.

Toby, Jon and Richie walked up seconds later and headed towards their motorcycles.

Toby’s eyes widened with amazement. “Wow! These are yours?”

Jon smiled. “Yep. Want to ride with me?”

Toby nodded. “Sure. How fast does it go?”

“Pretty fast.” Jon told him.

“I always wanted to ride a bike. My mom was going to get me one. But my dad yelled at her. Told her that we couldn’t afford it.” Toby said.

“It happens. It took me a while to get my first bike too.” Jon told him.

“Yeah. But did your dad hit your mom when all she did was ask him a question?” Toby quizzed.

Jon and Richie were stunned. So stunned, that they didn’t see Juanita pull the car up next to theirs. She rolled down the window.

“Beach pick up.” She teased. “I take it, the celebration went on a little too long?”

“We’d like you to bring the girls home. We have a guest that will be staying with us for the night.” Jon told her.

Juanita looked at the boy. She looked at him and quickly remembered that Jon was talking. Her eyes narrowed in anger.
“Darlings, you get yourselves in here. Jonny your voice.” she reminded him.

“Juanita, not now.” he told her.

“When? Because your doctor’s appointment has been moved up to tomorrow morning and you better have an answer for them as to why you’re being so freakin chatty.” She said telling him angrily.

“I thought you’d be happy to see that the notebook was gone.” Jon quipped.

“Not at the expense of you not being able to sing!” She yelled as Trina and Kendall went into the car and shut the door. Juanita started to back out of the lot. Trina was in the passenger’s seat.

“We’ll see you in a few.” She told the guys as the car took off. Jon helped Toby get on his bike.

Juanita sped up the block.

“Thanks Juanita.” Trina said.

“Trina, how long has Jonny been talking?” Juanita asked.

“He hasn’t been talking long. Just a few times on and off today.” She told her.

Juanita stared at the road, she was worried. Trina put her hand on her shoulder.
“Believe me. I’m scared too. But Toby’s situation-”

Kendall interjected. “We had to help him. He has no where else to go.”

Juanita looked at Kendall through her rearview mirror. She saw her eyes pleading for sympathy. Trina continued to touch Juanita gently on the shoulder. She agreed with Kendall.

“It’s true. He’s homeless.”

Juanita was at the house. Pulling the car in the driveway, she stopped abruptly. She turned to Trina. “He’s what?” she asked.

“The little boy. He’s homeless. If you want to blame someone for Jon using his voice Juanita, Blame me.” Trina told her.

Juanita shook her head. “Nope. I won’t. He’s got a mind of his own.”

The three of them got out of the car. Juanita stomped as Trina and Kendall sprinted behind her.

“Juanita, I really pushed him today. Seriously.”

Juanita turned to her and Kendall in frustration. “He’s a strong person. You may have pushed Trina, because chances are, he pushed first. God knows he can push a person’s buttons. I’m just wondering if he’s decided now that he’s had a few days off that maybe he may not want to do this as much as he originally thought.”

“Juanita, no hon!” Trina said.

Juanita interrupted her as she sat down on the front steps. “Trina, he’s a such a perfectionist that you know as well as I do he can be self-destructive.”

Trina sat down next to her and Kendall kneeled down in front of her.

“I’m sorry girls. I just don’t want him to lose himself again. He hates to listen and when he doesn’t, it’s usually when he needs to.” Juanita cried.

Trina put her head down on Juanita’s shoulder. “I know. But we just have to wait and see. Nothing we can do now.”

Juanita nodded. “It’s hard being his second mom huh?” Kendall quipped.

Juanita said. “I don’t know how Carol does it. Three boys. One a superstar, one a teenager, the other just getting his feet wet in life. I have kids too but-”

“You’re kids haven’t been on the cover of Rolling Stone or followed by cameras at all times.” Trina told her.
“Yeah. But my surrogate son has.” Juanita said in an weak attempt to make a joke.

The guys pulled up on the motorcycle. Jon got off. He took off his helmet while walking over to Toby and taking off the boy’s helmet. Toby was grinning from ear to ear.

“That was so cool!” Toby told him as Jon laughed. “Have fun bud?” Jon asked.

“Yeah! Toby leapt off the bike. “Trina! Jon and Richie raced. It was great!”

Trina, Juanita and Kendall’s eyes all widened. Richie, looked down in shame at the driveway. Toby ran up the steps. Jon and Trina’s eyes locked.

“No biggie.” Jon mouthed to her.

Trina smiled at him.

“You raced?” Trina asked Toby as her eyes couldn’t help but to watch Jon.

He was adorable in the way that he watched Toby. It was yet another layer of a person who she was happy know beyond music and the videos.

“Trina, Kendall it was great. Richie was going soooo slow and Jon joked and told him that he was riding like an old man. Richie told him ’Oh yeah?’ and then dared Jon to race and we did. Just up the street here and Jon beat him!”

“He did?” Trina asked.

“Yeah. At first Richie was mad because I was in the back and I think that he didn’t want me to get hurt, but Jon asked me if I could handle it and I said ’definitely’ and the next thing I knew…” Toby said.

Juanita’s eyes flared at Jon. “You have got to be kidding me. Racing with that little boy. What is wrong with you?” She asked.

“It was up like three houses. It was no big deal Juanita.” Jon told her.

“No big deal. Like using your voice?” she asked him.

Jon rolled his eyes at her.

“Yeah. Roll your eyes. I hope the doctor’s tells you tomorrow no singing for a few more weeks. Then let’s see who you’re going roll your eyes at. I’m going to bed!” Juanita said stomping up the stairs. She looked at Kendall and Trina.

“Kendall darlin, housekeeping made up your room. I’ll tell them to make one up for our young friend.”

“Thanks Juanita.” Kendall said.

Juanita stomped off and up the steps into the house.

Toby’s eyes widened. “Wow. What’s with her?” he asked.

“She’s just worried that’s all sweetie.” Trina reassured him as she got up and began to walk him up the steps.

“Worried about what?” Toby asked her.

“Jon. He tends to make everyone nervous from time to time.” Trina joked.

Toby laughed. “Nah. Jon’s cool. Everyone needs to calm down.”

“Thanks Toby.” Jon said

Let’s get you washed up. Are you hungry?” Trina asked.

“Starving.” Toby said rubbing his stomach.
“Well let’s get some food into you.” Trina told him..

“Okay” Toby said as they all walked into the house.

Jon was last. He wondered what the doctor’s would say about his voice tomorrow.

‘Would I be able to sing? What if I blew it? What am I going to do if I can’t?’

He touched his throat in concern.

Maybe Juanita was right. Maybe he needed to know what it was like to not to sing for a living.

Sad, yet frustrated at himself, he decided to take one last look at the evening sky which was now illuminated with stars. He began to walk into the house.
‘Shit, I really messed up! What am I going to do?‘

Friday, March 6, 2009

Ch 37

Music Playlist at

While Jon and Trina continued to talk and soak in the sights and sounds of the beach in front of them, Kendall and Richie shared not only a towel, but their growing feelings for each other.

“So, how much longer do you think we’ll be off the road?” Kendall asked.

Chuckling, he took his finger and gently wiped a stray blonde hair from Kendall’s face.

“I’m guessing another month. Then..”

“Giants .”She said

“Indeed.” Richie laughed.

Kendall couldn’t help but to stare at the length of him. His corded thighs shimmered with sweat and sand. Their bronze color had mesmerized Kendall.

She continued to watch him. Her thoughts couldn’t help but to wonder what it must be like to be with him.

His thighs…God, they look so hard, so warm….It must be nice to be underneath him…Feeling him…Taking him in….What the hell is wrong with Ally? Shit….I’m tempted to straddled him and ride him off into the sunset myself.” Kendall thought.

Seeing her staring at him, Richie decided to tease her a bit. He wanted to take his time with her, however his desire was about to overcome any sane thoughts he was having.

He shifted himself slightly in front of her so that his blank swim shorts displayed a slight bulge against his thighs.

Kendall’s eyes could not stop looking at it or the rest of him. For her own growing need was making her body warm with anticipation.

“Kendall?” Richie asked her softly.

Kendall eyes continued to concentrate on Richie’s body. Her body was aching for him.

Slowly he bent towards her face. He firmly placed his lips on hers. Her mouth loved the warmth of his breath and the sweet taste of his lips.

His lips parted hers a little more, enjoying every ounce of her.

“Richie>” she whispered.

“Not yet darlin.” He told her as his hand touched her golden waves.

Her hand inched itself from around his waist to the small of his back. He continued to kiss her, loving how her body felt against him and the warm sand.

His tongue played her lips, teasing, wanting her more. It was during this emotional yet fun interplay, that his conscience gradually began to interject some reality into him.

You can’t. Not now. You’re just getting to know her…Stop.’ he thought.

Discreetly, her hand went his down his swim trunks. His skin was smooth as her fingers played with the the curve of his buttocks.

He gasped. He needed to stop. He was losing control.

Whispering to her. “Gotta stop baby. No more now.”
He began to kiss her harder.

‘No.” she whispered. “I want you so much.”

He pulled away. He took her hand from his swim trunks and placed it back gently on the towel.
He lay on his side, attempting to gain what little sanity and sense of self he had left.

Kendall looked upset. She understood why he pulled away so quickly, but for her he didn’t have to.

Richie was still trying to catch his breath.

“What is it?” He asked.
Her eyes began to fill with tears. “What did I do? Did I do something wrong?”

Richie closed his eyes for a second. Her never wanted to hurt her. She was different than anyone he had ever been with. He wanted to take his time with their relationship.

“No. Kendall, you didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, you were doing everything right. It’s just that-” he attempted to explain.

“Just that I’m not like the other girls you’re used to?” Kendall asked.

“And that’s a bad thing?” he asked her.

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“It’s not. It’s what I need. I’ve never met anyone like you. You like me for me. And not because of who I am or what I do.” .

The tears flowed down Kendall’s face, in an attempt to reassure her, Richie gently began wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“Yes I do. " she told him.

“Yes. I care for you a lot. Just want to take this slow and get to know you a little better.” He said.

Kendall was relieved. “Okay. I can do that too Rich."

Richie smiled. “Good” he said.

As he turned around to Jon and Trina, they were clearly enjoying being members of an audience. Seeing that he noticed them, their faces quickly turned red and their heads snapped towards the crashing waves of the water in front of them.

“Glad you enjoyed the show.” Richie told them. “If you want, Kendall and I will make sure that we call you if and when the deed is in progress so the two of you can have a front row seat.” He teased.

Trina mumbled. “Count me in.”
Jon let out a huge belly laugh as the two looked across the beach.

“You all right Trina?” Richie joked.

“I’d be better if there wasn’t a cliffhanger.” She said winking at him.

Kendall’s face turned red. She began to laugh. She was happy that Trina seemed to be finally relaxing for a change.


As the rest of the day progressed, the four talked amongst themselves and enjoyed the beautiful day.

When sunset descended over the beach reflecting a lavender hue, the four shared an evening picnic of pasta, shrimp and wine that Richie had gone to pick up earlier in the afternoon.

Trina never saw Jon so relaxed. He had truly enjoyed the day.

She knew he hadn’t had many days like this. She couldn’t help but to be curious about how different things would be between the two of them when the tour restarted.

Trina looked at him as they watched the sun continue to set over the beach.

“This has been fun.” she told him softly.

Appearing relaxed with a hint of bronze that defined his eyes, he smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

Trina smiled. “So, after this what do we do?”

Jon turned to her. He grabbed his notebook and pen. He wrote for a moment and passed it to her

He wrote. 'Do about what?'

She looked over the note and smiled.
“Everything. You getting back to work…The tour? You can’t do what you’ve been doing to your voice…Getting Kendall up to speed.”

Jon laughed as he scribbled in the notebook. He passed it back to her and shrugged.

He wrote. 'Aren’t you going to ask about us?'

Trina took a deep breath. “ I was getting to that.” she told him as she passed the notebook back to him.

Jon was in a very good mood. He was comfortable. He looked almost peaceful. As much as his voice was on his mind, today, it didn’t matter.
He could concentrate only on this moment. Just her.

He wrote to her for a minute and smiled. He passed it to her.

'Today has been great. Let’s just concentrate on you and I….tonight…and that’s it.'

Trina smiled and nodded in agreement. "Okay.” she said.

Jon bent down over her. He brushed his lips gently against hers.

Her taste combined with the warm ocean wind, nearly took his breath away.

He gently pulled from her. Lying back on his towel gazing at the night sky, he never felt more at ease or secure in years.